Who Wants a Wrap?

Today we will discuss wraps.   No, not those funny flatbread semi-tortilla-looking thingies you can get in weird froo-froo places like California, where you just know they haven’t seen a decent Sloppy Joe in decades.   Sorry, I’ll try to refrain from overly ragging on our West Coast friends. Righteous Rides does have some hard-working folks toiling away at our Los Angeles hub.  They’re always deserving of your prayers, of course, but somebody should also consider air-lifting in some pork butts and decent pizza without fruit on it…

We’re also going to skip the kind of wraps that are often used by female persons, particularly when they are cold.  (Being cold is apparently a common thing when you find yourself living someplace where they have actual sandwiches, but also have actual seasons.)  For that very reason, we do throw in a nice fleece blanket with the vans we provide for our missionary clients.  It can be used as a wrap when the reality sets in for those intrepid souls who have been laboring for years in places with 110-degree days and 247% relative humidity.  Visiting one of your supporting churches in North Dakota, in January?  Hey, no problem.  Keep your wrap handy, watch out for the Bison, and no setting campfires in the back of the van, no matter how cold it gets.

No, the kind of wrap we’re talking about is technically referred to as an “automotive vinyl-chloride decorative system.”  At least that’s what engineering types call it.  Normal folks just call it a wrap.  Think of a wrap as a much, much larger decal.  Remember when you were a wee lad and spent your idle hours putting together plastic model car kits?  They usually came with some cool decals, that with patience and some careful application on your part, would usually enhance your project.  You usually messed it up and got it on crooked.  So, of course, when you were old enough, you therefore dove right into messing up real cars.  We’ve already told you about the founding of Righteous Rides…

A wrap is a somewhat easier method of adding eye-catching graphics to a vehicle, as opposed to a snazzy new paint job.  Painting can be even trickier than getting decals on straight and snazzy is expensive.  We spoke to Fred and he assured us that there’s nobody named Earl Scheib volunteering in the shop.  He double-checked.

Adding a body and paint shop IS on the list of things that would make life a bit easier at Righteous Rides HQ, particularly during those times of year when missionary clients tend to play tag with the local wildlife.  As I said, do NOT hit any Bison! They are much bigger than a deer and you would lose.  Don’t hit the deer either.  In fact, don’t hit anything, except maybe your support goals. (Yes, I know. That was awful.  I humbly apologize.)


Regardless of the paint shop issue, Righteous Rides has plenty of other priorities on their list, aside from getting more vans.  (We’re into the 140+ numbers, and it’s still never enough.)  We could also apparently use a new roof at HQ.  The boys in the shop don’t mind it so much, and we’ve been encouraging some of them to try showering with a bit more regularity.  But the front office folk get a might cranky when dripped on.  Nobody likes soggy paperwork.   Some got very excited when Mark announced that they were acquiring colorful, water-proof wraps.  Less enthusiasm was expressed when they found out he was not talking about ponchos.  Yet.

I mentioned eye-catching.  Those of you who attended the recent Righteous Rides 12th Anniversary gathering got a good look at the newly wrapped service vehicle, parked outside the church entrance, along with a few of the somewhat less overtly colorful vans that are part of the fleet.  As you can probably see by looking at it (we suggest squinting first or peeking through your fingers so as to not overwhelm your retinas) the thing is quite noticeable.

Rumor has it there was a bit of a dust-up among the board members when deciding on the artwork for the wrap.  Some Gearheads thought flames would be cool.  They were countered by a delegation that favored even bigger flames and maybe a unicorn playing a guitar.  And a third group (mostly from the shop) felt that if one wished to really attract attention, they should just mount an actual flame-thrower to that sucker.  Some clever contortion of Robert’s Rules of Order was applied (I think it involved either locking them in a closet or threatening to feed them tortilla-based pseudo-sandwiches for a week) and a more non-arson-related stripey approach was agreed upon.  As a concession to the Gearheads, a rather impressive cross made of wrenches and other shiny automotive bits was added to the back of the vehicle.

There was also some question about the selection of that particular color scheme.  Some of us were expecting that the new wrap might turn out to be blue and gold, which is apparently the colors of a certain NE Texas technical university with at least a peripheral relationship to the founding of Righteous Rides.   But, no, as you can see there’s some blue and orange and white involved.  A quick online search reveals the color scheme to be disturbingly similar to that of either the NY Mets, or the Chicago Bears.  For the record, Righteous Rides, as a charitable organization dedicated to spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ through the support of missionaries, takes no position whatsoever regarding professional sports franchises of any kind. (or, in certain cases, “un-professional” sports franchises.  But we’re not naming names…)


But, as usual, I digress.  Anyway, if you are motoring about, and you see a blue SUV with some very bright, eye-catching artwork zipping down the highway, there’s a chance it might belong to Righteous Rides.  They may be out picking up something (like ponchos and umbrellas for the HQ staff) or delivering a van to some deserving, not-yet-frozen missionary who promises to not play tag or any other children’s games with bovine creatures on the endangered species list.

Hopefully you will find the wrap quite eye-catching.  Our friends out West might even call it “gnarly,” which is something they apparently say while sitting around eating not-quite-sandwiches or fruit-flavored pizza.  I am told it means “snazzy.”